Edward Crazy Past!
by vampireGrl101
Summary: Edward and Bella go back in time to when Edward was human! What will Edward and Bella figure out about Edwards past? Edward has some MAJOR PROBLEMS back then! Trust me it's hilarious!
1. I'm Home!

OK here is Edwards Crazy Past!!!

Jade

Chapter 1 Time Machine!

Bella's POV

"Bella! geuss what!" Oh My Carlisle, what vision did Alice have this time?!?! "What Alice?"

"Edward is bring something home tomorrow night! You'll never believe what it is!" Hmmm.. I was think the whole day while Edward was off hunting, what he could be bring home. What a horses head? _twitch, twitch. _Ok a disturbing picture just came into my head. What in the world- _yawn-_ could it possible be-_yawn. _" I JUST BEAT YOUR VAMPIRE BUTT, JASPER, HA HA HA HA HA! NOW YOU HAVE TO RUN AROUND THE SCHOOL SAYING THAT YOU ARE A SISSY BARBIE GIRL WITH PLASTIC BOOBS!! AND WHERE PLASTIC BOOBS!!!There goes Emmett again with winning another game of football on the video game. Him and his stinking bets! "WHY! IN ALL MY LIFE THIS IS THE WORST THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME! WORSE THEN ESME'S COOKING!!" Oh no Jasper should have not said this! I had to see this! I ran down stairs, but to late Esme already threw Jasper into the wall! Wow she can be fierce! _Yawn _ok time for bed...

The next day, or should I say night?

Edwards POV

I was running all the way home, when suddenly I read some bodies mind... _This Time Machine Really Works!!! I Will Be Rich! The Richest Person Alive!! Go Me! Go Me! I will win Bella With my Sexy Smartness!!! Me MIKE NEWTON! King of the Time Machine!! Hey That Rymes!_

I could not, will not let Mike Newton win my Bella! It's impossible! So I went right up to him, and lets just say I gave him apiece of my mind. A BIG piece of my mind!

"hahahaha! My time machine now!" I was running in the woods with this darn time machine on my back, when I heard Emmetts thoughts... _Plastic boobs! Ha Ha Ha! poor Jasper, I wonder if they make real plastic boobs! That would be soo awesome! I will go online to find these plastic boobs!!!!! _

HA HA! Emmett made another bet with Jasper, ugh, will Jasper ever learn! And here I am, and there she is, Bella! "Edward what the hell is that on your back?!?" She was so cute when she was angry! "Oh, nothing just a time machine!" Her mouth was hanging open, looking at me shocked and appauled. "What? You asked what it is and I told you. A-time-ma-chine." "Edward I heard you but, why did you bring home a time machine?" "Well why do you think? To go back in time, duh!" "Really I didn't Know that! Duh I now what a time machine is I'm just saying why do you want to go back in time?" "Well I don't remember my human past, sooo I wanted to go back and time to see what my human life was!"  
"Fiiinneee, Lets go"

Bella's POV

Suddenly I heard A very annoying, very girly, I repeat, very girlie scream! I had a feeling it was Alice or Rosalie. Nope it was- OMFC! It was Jasper!! "HAHAHAH WHY DID-HAHAH- SCREAM LIKE THAT-HAHAHA?" "I'M SO, LIKE, JEALOUS! I, LIKE WANT TO, LIKE GO BACK IN ,LIKE, TIME TOO!!" Here he goes agian annoying me with that Jessica voice thing again!! "Would you mind if Jasper went with us?" "NO! Why in the world would I want Jasper to come with us?" He got his fists and started to knock on my head like it was a door. " Any one home in there?" "Yes! I'm Not stupid! Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!!" "fine, fine, sorry I said anything, can we just go?" \

"Fine lets go,but before we leave, where did you get this any ways?" "I, uhhh, just found it, uhh, laying in the woods.Wierd huh? hehehehe." "Riiight, Lets blow this popsickle stand!" We went into the time machine, "Hmmm, how does this thing work, Edward?" "Ummm I don't know, well lets see I push this, I pull this and type in this and..." Flashing lights started going off and the time machine started to shake, a beeping noise kept on going on and on! Then all of it stopped. Me and Edward stepped out of the time machine into a place called...

An

Sorry to leave you at this I will continue the next chapter after school tomorrow!!

You WILL BE SHOCKED AND AWWED!! AND MABY A LITTLE CONFUSED BUT NO WORRIES I WILL EXPLAIN ALL OF IT AND IF YOU DO AHAVE ANY QUESTION JUST TELL ME!!

love

Jade Peace!


	2. OMG!

OK!!! Srry that i haven't updated in a while! I was putting the first chapter on as the second chapter, so yeah! Her is tis!!

Second Chapter: OMG!

We were at... A MENTAL HOSPITAL!!!!! "Edward! Why the hell, are we at a mental hospital!??!" Oh my gosh! Please dear Jesus let it be Emmett! PLEASE!!! He had a guilty smile look on his face. Oh no! This can't be!!! My boyfriend was mentaly retarded when he was 17!!! "Well...I was..you know..back in 1918. And it got so bad that i was going to die...but then my mom, kind of forced Carlisle into changing me. I'm so sorry, Bella, it all came back to me right when we got here." My mouth dropped, I was shocked and SHOCKED!!! "You were cr-cr-crazy? So that explains the nights you start to scream 'ME SO FUNNY! WITH CREAM ON MY COO COO CLOCK!'? (**srry i couldn't think of anything else! just play along!)** No way! This is to funny!! i know i love him, but crazy?!?! This is just hilarious!

Edwards POV

I can't believe it! I was crazy! How could I forget!

Oh great! Now she is laughing at me! Ok now she is reallllllyyy laughing! Ok thats enough! "yes Bella I was crazy! Me Edward Cullen was crazy! OK!" WAIT! So that explains all the nights... (**hahaha lol!)**

**Bella's POV**

**"Edward-hahaha- le-le-lets go in-in-inside hahaha!"**

**It was so funny it was hard for me to talk without laughing! **

**"NO WAY! ARE YOU JOKING!!! I CAN'T GO BACK IN THERE! Bella I can't, no will not let you go in there and see me like that! It's in the past! Can we please go now!?!?!" **

**He tried to smother me with his beautiful eyes, and it was well.. not working!!! Yes i still love him, I'm just, for some reason in a happy, laugh, laugh, mood!! **

**"Oh pleaseeee Edward! Just one peek!!! I promise I won't tell anyone!! I can't promise you that I won't laugh though!" He was glaring at me, psh, yeah like thats gong to work! **

**"Fine. But one, I repeat one quick look! Got it?" **

**"Fine, Fine, Fine! Don't be such a baby! Crazy Baby that is!! HAHAHAHAHA!"**

**"AGHAGHAGH!!!" Sheesh get a grip!**

**We walked into the building, and no one, thank God, can see us! People were walking in and out of rooms with medicines, clip boards, or patients. We went around the front desk and got a clip board of all the patients... "ok here we are 'Edward Mason, room 206,' ok lets go!" **

**Edwards POV**

**NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Bella's POV**

**YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!**

MWHAHHAHAHAHAHA! I'M SOOOOO SRRY I COULDN'T UPDATE SOONER! I DIDN'T NO HOW TO POST A SECOND CHAPTER!! AND I'M SRRY THAT EDWARD IS CRAZY, BUT AT LEAST U KNOW THAT, THAT ISN'T TRUE!!! AND DON'T WORRY, THERE WILL BE A SHOCK AT THE END!!!! I WILL UPDATE SOON! TTYL! AND IF U HAVE ANY IDEAS... U NO THE DRILL!

LUV YA! PEACE!

JADE


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